What have we become?!

This may be my first ever serious blog post. I just really had to share my thoughts on all this because if I don't I won't be able to move on.

I've just had it with current events lately.

It's a week long holiday and I have a lot planned - meet deadlines, study and more studying. Oh but I really shouldn't have surfed the net and dug for information. Why? Because everything online right now is so depressing and scary that I just want to lock myself in my room or travel really really far away from this planet, away from all this bullshit and suffering and hopelessness.

Alma Moreno - Karen Davila Interview

Yes, she's only human. But why on earth would I vote for someone who doesn't even know shit about the law. Filipinos who comment on the said post were no different, commenting on how she doesn't understand English, how she used to be a rated SPG actress, how excessive her gestures are.. asdfghjkl. GISING PILIPINAS. Everyone is missing the point. OMG Please. I am begging you. Don't be stupid and please know your leaders beforehand. What really grinds my gear is not Alma Moreno herself. She is just a mere representation of incompetent leaders who ended up as high officials in the government because of fame and money. Again, GISING PILIPINAS. Simple lang naman eh. Who we want is someone competent and would handle major economic problems FOR THE GOOD OF PEOPLE and not FOR THE GOOD OF THEMSELVES.

Tanim Bala Gang

I. Can't. Even. with this one. Where has humanity, respect, morals gone? Our local system must be so messed up the people gave up on everything and went to the dark side. Wala na silang kinakatakutan ba. Reading about all the modus operandi and realizing how people are becoming more and more DESPERATE really scares me. It's not safe out anymore. You can't trust anyone anymore. These people are not afraid to turn their back on their fellow out of despair - these people who you consider as a kababayan.

(MANILA, Phils.) Drug-crazed man takes kid as hostage

Watching the video felt like I was the one about to be stabbed in the heart as my heart ached from the girl's plea for freedom. We've lost all morality, sense and most importantly, control over our lives that we dare to risk it (and some one else's). Although he was put to rest and the girl was set free unharmed, the thought of it happening again is not impossible. The power of drugs is inconceivable.

Paris Attacks

Do I even have to say anything about this one?

I am a Muslim, they are Muslims (probably), and Islam is the religion of peace. We have different views on what the Holy Qur'an dictates but I am absolutely sure that that is not what it teaches. I may not be the most religious but I am most positive that the Almighty Allah did not ask us to kill our fellow, even if that fellow does not have the same beliefs as you do.

Everything is so messed up. I pray that this will all be resolved and that happy days will soon come after so much sufferings.

My 1st week in Med School.

I have to admit, I went psycho during my first week in school. I expected it to be.. well, not easy - but more of a challenge as compared to college. After going through my first 5 days in class, I realized that it's a whole new level of nerd.

Let me enumerate my thoughts during the first few days.

1. What trap have I gotten myself into. Right now, I don't know who I am, where I am, or what I'm doing.

2. I'm afraid of dead or severely injured bodies. I know it's weird that I pursued Medicine knowing one of these days, I will def be in contact with them. I don't know, I thought maybe I could handle it.

3. Lectures would last for about 2-3 hours. Back in college, it was bearable to go through these lectures without trying so hard. For the lectures that I have now, I struggle most of the time to not doze off and to keep my sanity in check. The reason I lose focus is because half of the lecture, I don't even know what we're talking about anymore. Which brings us to my next thought..

4. You are at a disadvantage if your PreMed is not a hundred percent science. Well, not really. A little background about me if you don't know already, I graduated BS Psychology. Most of my classmates finished Biology, Medical Technology, Nursing, etc. I do know some who still thrived regardless of their previous course. But my point here is that there are a lot of things that I don't know.

5. Low grades. It's the first week so there were no formal grading of performance just yet. But just by the looks of it, I think I'm doing pretty bad as compared to my other classmates.

6. I know no one. Not all my college buddies went to med school. In fact, I was the first one in my circle of friends who actually went. So basically during my first day, I was completely alone. I wasn't really worried about making new friends - I mean that's easy, you can just talk to someone and voila! A friend. My worries were: "What if I can't find my way to the next class?", "What if schedules/rooms changed, how will I know about it?" and also "Where the hell are my classmates going and where are they buying these Manuals from?". In short I was completely and utterly lost. 

So there, my first week jitters. But if you think about it, it's all part of adjusting.

1. Med school may or may not be my life long dream. But series of events led me to this place and at this exact time, so it's likely that I am here because I was fated to be here. Remember that not everyone is. You have to own it.

2. First week and I was already exposed to a cadaver. Not the whole body, but parts of it. Initially I thought I won't be able to handle it, but it was not as bad as I thought it would be. We actually had our laboratory discussion with the cadavers right in front of us. As in I could even hold hands with him/her if I want to. So what I'm saying is that, I freaked out over nothing. Why worry about something that's not even there yet.

3. It's okay to doze off. You're not a robot. You need sleep too. Just don't worry so much about not getting it the first time. You can always ask, read references, or watch videos to better understand the subject. There's always an option to be resourceful.

4. I don't care if your a Psych major, Business Major or out of this world major, as long as you prep up and review, everything will be clear to you soon. Besides, you can always use your Psych background as an advantage. You know very well how to manage emotions. Just don't let stress get to you. You know perfectly well how to maintain a healthy mind, body and soul - YOU ARE IN CHARGE OF YOUR OWN PSYCHOLOGICAL STATE.
5. I experienced an extreme let down of self esteem earlier this week. You're grade conscious, I know. But isn't everyone? It's just a matter of building up confidence. Don't focus too much on other people but rather focus on yourself and your potentials. Keep in mind what the lecturer said: "From a thousand applicants, only 400 of you were chosen. This means you're the cream of the crop. You're above average." and by that she meant all.

6. No friends? No worries. To be honest, I went through a lot introductions with a lot of people before I finally met my group. I did make a slight effort to look for a group I'd fit in but eventually, the group found me. There is no denying that you will definitely be part of a group with people having the same thoughts/personality as you. So no rush. Eventually I got to know most of my classmates. And they're pretty cool actually. 

I'm not telling you it's going to be easy, I'm telling you it's going to be worth it. For all the incoming Medschool freshmen out there, lighten up. If you're tense, that's normal. You're simply in a state of adjustment so don't beat yourself up. You only need to do 3 things: KEEP CALM, STUDY HARD, AND BECOME A DOCTOR.

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I read through some threads about first week experiences in medschool. It seems I wasn't the only one. In fact, quite a number shared the same experience. See here.

Work + life = ERROR.

Work should only stay within the four corners of your office.

Been stressing out over work lately. Either because I'm taking this too lightly or too much, I can't tell. Those two weeks have been hell, I'm sorry, but it's true. And you know what ticks me off the most? The fact that I'm forced to be someone I'm not.

I just had my first mess up for the year. Constantly I've been told that I'm too meek and timid. Yes, I agree, but is that such a crime? Introverted people like me have been looked down upon on for so long. I am VERY frustrated about the fact that they kept asking me to be their definition of 'charming'. Someone loud and emphatic. Well.. sorry for being acquiescent. Sorry for being contained and respectful. Sorry for not stepping on someone's privacy. And I'm sorry for not being 'charming'. 

YOU EXPECT ME TO APOLOGIZE FOR THAT? No. I'm not sorry. But it's you who should be.

(c) Kapatid

I'm glad I have them. I need them now more than ever.

We hung out at Ally's All Day Breakfast Place to have.. lunch. Hehe. I had the breakfast favorite, Beef Tapa, while Kapatid and Filar tried out their create-your-own-pancakes. Cut a long story short, it was worth it. The tapa was delicious, pancakes were fluffy, the proportions were more than you can handle, and the service was fine. Small and intimate place. I like it.

Rating: 8.5

After that we wandered the streets of Maginhawa to look for a quaint chill out place. It took a while but we stumbled upon this let loose tea room, Antiteasis: Books & Brews. 

AHHH detoxifying all negativity. I'm not a fan of teas and don't know much about them so I tried out their recommended cold Teekanne strawberry raspberry. It was heaven I tell you. Kapatid had cold vanilla I don't know, while Filar had hot orange I don't know. Hehe. We stayed for a while and played board games, not realizing it was already dark out. 

Antiteasis, I'll be back often.

Rating: 9

Studying = STUdent + DYING.

Oh God. I'm slowly dying from all this reading. -___-
Studied Physics and boy does my head hurt. No, but seriously. If I see a car raging towards me, I wouldn't have time to think of its velocity, deceleration, acceleration or whatever. I'd probably die first before I get the average speed. Hahaha. K, enough nerd talk.

During my study break, I saw this. To all you smokers, bet it hit you right in the lungs. Right in the lungs.

Yesterday calls for a meme.

ENROLLING LIKE NOT A BOSS.

To get away from all the hassle of an on-site enrollment, I have decided to go with online enrollment. The only difference is that you have to print your own reg form when online enrolling.
I was pretty fine with that until..

The tuition fee doubled.

Also, it says there that I'm not cleared. That I have to deal with my accounts first. But it's weird because I HAVE already cleared everything before enrolling.

But I had no choice. So I went to ask about it.

EXPECTATION:

REALITY:

I'll.. just... wait here.
Not kidding. They were in no mood to help me. THEY KEPT TELLING ME TO GO HERE OR HERE OR HERE which really pissed me out. I am not a ball that is to be passed to whoever. For a person in charge, that is so uncool of you.

And finally, I was able to enroll. The last person I talked to was the cashier, and she was just an angel.

She was the most helpful. Thanks to her, I was able to restrain myself from burning that place down.

Eleven. Eleven. Eleven.

I survived week one.


Homeworks on the first day. Thank you teachers.
Money went shopping the following days. T.T
Hello books and empty wallet. It's nice to see you again.
To top it all off, I have dodgeball tomorrow.
Horray for hitting people. Whatev.

I miss SHINee.

Check out Replay and Juliette.
They've been TOO busy in Japan.
When is their comeback in Korea?! I'm waiting.

QC Memorial Circle.

Attended the "World Suicide Prevention Day" event.
People, don't kill yourself. A'right?

Nothing's new.

I was watching ASAP Rocks just now.
I was like.. Oh, them again. T.T


Why not let other artist perform?
Showcase other talents.
SHOWCASE VAN'S TALENT! HAHAHAHA.

Hell of a week.

Tight schedule this week.


Looking forward to alternative classes week.
A week when you do nothing. :)

Miriam, oh Miriam.

Crazy weather today.
Despite that, classes in Miriam were NOT suspended. Yay.


Well.. eventually, it did.
But it took them quite some time to realize that.